"I want to be beautiful.

Make you stand in awe.

Look inside my heart,

and be amazed.

I want to hear you say

who I am is quite enough;

Just want to be worthy of love

and beautiful.

I was so unique

now i feel skin deep.

Got all the makeup

to cover it all.

Cryin myself to sleep,

cuz i cannot keep their attention

Thought i could be strong,

but it's killing me.

Does someone hear my cry?

I'm dyin for new life.

Sometimes I wish I was someone

other than me.

Fighting to make the mirror happy.

Trying to find

whatever is missing,

won't you help me back

to glory."

This is a song by Bethany Dillon. It is one of my favorites! This is what was goin through my head throughout the entire discussion on wednesday. I know that this sounds 100% arrogant, however, I do find the discussion of the physical attributes of beauty to be quite irrevelant within the realms of life. Humanity is shallow in this aspect. We judge ever so often by appearance rather than one's intentions, desires, or heart. Dillon, I believe, recognizes the shallow characteristics humanity incorporates, but offers us a challenge: to look inside our souls, choose who we want to be, what feelings/thoughts/emotions we want to evoke, and AIM to praise these attributes when describing beauty.

As I said in discussion; the term "beautiful," is not one to be thrown about in everyday chit chat. "Skin deep beauty" is petty, and I find it frustrating that we even associate the terms "beautiful" and "beauty" together.

I have come to realize as well how one's self image must/is determined by the individual before his or her peers. We discussed the order in which it is developed. I truly believe that it is ALWAYS constructed primarily by the person. Yes, the world has a major influence, but I view the world as being inconsistent, independable, dynamic, and extreme. Don't we all long for acceptance/love? I refer to C.S. Lewis' "The Inner Ring." The ambition of being "within" the ring is continuous. The key to ending this cycle is grasping humility. Lewis implies that without humility one will never be content. Life without it will be all effort with no result.

In conclusion, we discussed the comparison between "body image" and "self image."

"Beauty" and "beautiful" have a similar battle. All of these terms are often considered synonomous. If, when, and how will humanity attain victory in this battle? Will the quest ever end?

Hmmm. I thought that this was interesting. Good times.
List 10....(or 20) things that you don't think people would normally know about you. They can be the most random things as long as someone learns something new about you. After you list these things you must tag at least 5-10 people so that they can list 10 things about themselves and tag others. So if I tagged you copy these rules post your own list of 10 things you don't think people know about you and then tag at least 5 more people. Have fun!

1. I HATE hotdogs. They are the nastiest thing on the face of this earth!
2. The skin on the right half of my face was once gone=bicycle accident. No scars either thanks to Vitamin E
3. I've always wanted to ride an ostrich
4. I can pop my hip out of socket. It looks super cool
5. I'm a war/history buff. I love learning about it
6. I've lived in the same house, same town, same school, all of my life. Grooovy Grove America.
7. I would rather do ANY chore than vacumn, even clean bathrooms/toilets. Any day!
8. I was the biggest tom-boy in the entire world. =mushroom haircut, on an all-boys soccer team, didn't hang with the girls at recess, instead i played football with the guys, i hate(d) dolls/barbies, i loved diggin in the dirt for worms or collecting bugs
9. I would not mind, no it would be my dream to live somewhere with no electricity/running or clean water, hygiene, showers=MEXICO...on the island. heck yes! who cares about lookin good? it's a pain in the rear!
10. I LOVE Bratwurst!
11. I went down my driveway on a bike with no brakes. Definitly ran into my house. Got the scars to prove it. (u'd have to see my driveway to understand. it's a freakin mountain)
12. I'm have very strong political beliefs and opinions, but tend to keep them to myself, unless I'm debating with my crazy cool democrat/liberal friends. it's ok i still love you guys aside from your faults. ha.
13. I have not and never will dye or highlight my hair. EVER.
14. I don't drink coffee. Ever. If I need cafeine/energy i eat applesauce.
15. I love to fish. well, except taking the fish off the hook when it's way down there. makes me sad.
16. I HATE HATE HATTTEEE any form of tights/panty hose and will NOT wear them. GEW! If those things don't make you want to commit suicide then i don't know what does?!
17. I wore headgear. For a long time. Yes, I know you're jealous. I was freakin HOTT!
18. I've always wanted a twin.
19. My biggest fear in life is disappointment. Especially disappointing myself/not reaching my expectations.
20. I've never been camping. I WANT TO THO!! Super bad. and no, not freakin with a camper. I mean the good ole tent. find your own food type of camping.
21. my biggest pet peeve is the absence/lack of optimism. GRRRR that makes me soooo stinkin mad!
nothing like ending on a good note?! hahaha. just kiddin
wait..una mas
22. I do not have my ears pierced, nor do I plan on doing so any time soon?! PAIN?! I'm skeerd

Ok, so there are a few interesting/random facts for everyone. I know they are super exciting. If you can think of any more qualities that make my weirdness, weird, let me know. but you've gotta love it! Anyhoot, i'm going to go become ONE with the library considering I have a research paper that is worth 30% of my grade due tuesday and I haven't even begun my research?! My procrastination skills are freakin ELITE!

Okie dokie. Well, everyone have a lovely weekend. Keep it clean. I'll be in the library the ENTIRE time if you need me?! PS> 8 more days of classes until Thanksgiving break, which by the way I am Super STOKED for! Heck yes! That's gonna be some good times.
PS #2> I bought a flippin grrrate Christmas cd yesterday. "Christmas with the Rat Pack: Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr."=good freakin stuff. Anyhoot, I love you all! mmwah!
Also, if you could say a lil prayer for me, that would be wonderful. I'm feelin kinda iffy...hmmmmm
TATA